There are two schools of thought on which days are more difficult. According to human being Robert Hunter, "The first days are the hardest days", while Thomas Earl Petty contends that "The waiting is the hardest part" I'm kinda at a split on which one I believe right now. The first days were rough, don't get me wrong, but the whole waiting thing, well, that ain't no picnic either. So here's where we stand....
In our last episode, I left my primary care doctor's office with 2 prescriptions. One for Prednisone, and one for some antibiotic. In the days that followed, I missed more 3 days of work, watched some of the absolute worst horror films ever made (nothing quite like Troll 2, but some stuff that got pretty close. Check out Zombie Ass: The Toilet of the Dead sometime if you don't believe me. Also during this period, I tried my best to continue with life as usual. Rested, drank plenty of liquids, blah blah blah, and on Saturday night (September 25 for those of you keeping track at home), we performed a gig. During said gig, I was stumbling around like a drunkard, using a cane to help me stabilize my every-so-large body and it sort of twisted and went in whatever direction it best saw fit. A truly graceful sight to say the least. As we set up to play, I realized that the only was I would be able to hear my guitar would be to crank the house volume up to about 11 and scare everyone out of the joint. So, instead, I opted to go with my gut and play, even though my guitar was inaudible to me. We did a pretty solid show (although the trainwreck that was 'Theme to an Imaginary Western' should be erased from our collective memories as promptly as possible), and to my surprise, the recordings sounded very nice. There were only a couple of moments in the second set where it sounded like I was trying to sing one song and play another. So score one for having faith that other people are telling you the truth about what they're hearing.
After the show, I waddled out to the car with the equipment and went home to spend the rest of Saturday night and all of Sunday trying to get myself ready to go back to work on Monday (September 27). So I made it to work on Monday. I drove myself there. Quite possibly the stupidest and most dangerous decision I've made since I decided to stop using drugs and alcohol. In all honesty, I had absolutely no business behind the wheel of a car. My vertigo had gotten significantly worse, my hearing remained gone, and had I collided with another vehicle or another human during my little "I'm a man. I can do this." pride bullshit trip, my story would have taken a far darker turn. Fortunately for all of us, the Universe did not have a car crash in the cards for me that day, and I made it to work safely. I was able to get some stuff done, and it was pretty cool to be productive again. But after lunch, I fell apart. My vertigo got so bad that I could hardly stand at all. My boss drove my home in my car and had one of our co-workers follow him so he could get back to the office. Not exactly my proudest moment.
The following day, it was time to take my last Prednisone and I called my family doctor and said "Okay doc, nothing has changed, and in fact, things have gotten worse. What should I do?" He referred me to a specialist, but I heard some bad things about that doctor and decided to go with the husband of one of my wife's clients.
He was able to see me the following day (Wednesday), and he performed the examination. He also performed the full hearing test (which I'll get to in a minute). During the exam, he explained that it appeared that I suffered a major insult to the region inside of my right ear. While the ear bones were all perfectly intact and there was no damage to the eardrum, There was something just beyond there that was placing pressure on the nerve that controls hearing and the nerve that controls balance. I"m not a doctor and I'm way too lazy to look up the names for all of this. He also informed me that the issue could be either viral or auto-immune in nature. More would be revealed upon further testing. I'm still waiting for the MRI to be approved by the insurance company (y'all know how much fun THAT can be). But back to the hearing test. I'm pleased to report that in my left ear, I have outstanding hearing. It's actually better than what it is in most folks my age. So I was all happy. The hearing in my right ear, however, is completely gone. Nothing. Not a bump or a squiggle to indicate that any noise other than that produced by Beep's cousin is being heard.
So now I'm in waiting mode. I can't really go back to work full time because I'm not able to drive, and I don't know how long I'd be able to work. I'm thinking about trying again on Monday just to see how I handle it. Because the facts are that I ain't gonna be getting paid for not going to work much longer. I've used up all my sick days and am cutting into what little vacation and personal/floating holiday time I've got left. My bank account is not amused with the possible ramifications.
But while I wait, I have the joy of being on a high dose of Prednisone. I"m taking 60mg per day for the next 3 days, then tapering down over the following two weeks. So, I'm up all night writing nonsense on the internet, feeling self-conscious, afraid that my friends and co-workers will all tell me to get lost, and all the wonderful things that our minds and bodies do when we're in such a state. And of course, the joy of learning how to turn your head to face the speaker when someone speaks because really... I'm deaf right now, and I gotta learn to live with it for the time being..
It looks like the possible causes for this are an Acoustic Neuroma, an autoimmune issue, or a virus of some sort. The good news is that none of these are potentially life-threatening and all of them can be treated. The bad news is that some long-term hearing loss may result, and the vertigo may take a good while to subside....
.....To be continued...
No comments:
Post a Comment